MAYHEM
by grimoiretales
Summary: What is true and what is not? The world she lived in or the world she believed in? A whole lot of things begin to unfold on the fateful night Ashen Amor meets her beloved Demon… A melodramatic Time travel fanfic based on the fusion of Reality, Anime and Manga.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitusji or the characters described by Yana Toboso with the exception of my own Creations.

* * *

 **Prologue**

'You poor wretched Soul…' she gingerly held the ball of light in her tender palms.

Little spherical light balls lit up the bottomless pit. But she had been drawn to this particular one.

'Mistress…' one of her servants called out.

'Hmmm?'

'Why this particular one?' her servant asked baffled.

'Why indeed…' the goddess chuckled, mischief glinting in her blue orbs. 'Because it is interesting this way.' She flashed her irresistibly infectious smile. 'Also…, I want to see the reaction when he finds out' she continued, enveloping the spirit ball with a soothing green light, 'of my son that is…'


	2. Her World and THE World

**Her World and THE World**

 _..._

' _It's because that's your job!' Ciel said cocking his head sideways, glancing at Sebastian who perked his ears immediately._

' _I thought you would protect me with your life. That's why I did not shoot her.' Ciel looked at the grave's headstone and continued, 'Our contract states that until my goal is fulfilled, you will become my power and protect me without letting me die. Demons do not have a sense of loyalty or conviction right? All they have are principles. That's why in order to fulfil your own principle; you will protect me, no matter what... Isn't that right?'_

' _Then why did you stop me back then?' Sebastian asked tilting his head, confused._

' _When Madame was trying to kill me, there was hesitation in her eyes. She was not able to kill me, a relative. That's what I thought.' Ciel paused for a moment. 'Even if you hesitate for a single moment, it can be fatal' he continued in a grave tone, 'It's just like in chess. She lost her next move through hesitation. That's all there was to it.'_

 _He walked past Sebastian, his little cane guiding his way in the graveyard, under the dying colours of the dusk._

' _That's why I won't hesitate.' He said, firmly gripping his cane, his head held high._

 _Sebastian's eyes widened with shock for a second but he turned to face his master admiringly. 'That's how it has to be.' He smiled evilly, utterly pleased. 'You should use your pawns in the best way possible and keep struggling to live on... using the madam, myself and all the others, within your reach. Even if the empty shells of pawns pile up beneath the throne, once the king is gone, the game is over.'_

' _I will not stop moving forward.' Ciel continued, his back turned to Sebastian, 'I will not regret a single step I take. That's why I ORDER YOU:' He turned to face him, his eyes glinting sheer determination and command, 'Do not betray me and do not leave my side... No matter what!'_

 _Sebastian's gloved hand swept, cutting through the icy air, to rest on his heart as his torso dropped into an elegant curtsy, 'Yes, My LORD!_ '

 _ **CUT!**_

A wave of applause exploded in the room housing approximately 500 people or more.

' **BRAVO!'** The director and the producer pounced on the actors showering them with accolades and genuine praises.

The crowd continued to cheer –

 **AMAZING!** _Yes! Yes! I know... I know..._ my heart was fluttering too.

 **FANTASTIC!** _Hmmm – hmmm..._ My head nodded automatically.

 **AWESOME!** _Agree! Agree!_ I jumped up and down **.**

 **ONE MORE TIME!** _Yes! One more time please!_ I hollered WOHOOOO!

 **FANTABULOUS!** _Totally agree!_ I nodded violently.

 **SO HOT!** _Yes! Yes! Yes!... Wait whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?_ I stopped jumping.

 **LET ME HUG YOU!** _Excuse me?_ I slowly turned around.

 **SHOW ME YOUR DICK!** _You have got to be kidding me!_ My eyes enlarged with rage!

 **FUCK ME SEBASTIAN!**

My head snapped at the last comment, at the girl who had squeaked that PARTICULAR line. I looked daggers at her, my fist clenching and veins popping all over my face.

'Hey! Will you stop that?' My friend yanked my hand just when my killer rage had reached its peak and I swear I felt steam fizzing out of my ears. She threw her hands to her hips, 'You don't own them! Don't act so spoilt!'

She made sense and my anger vamoosed away quietly. Of course I didn't own them. I wish I did. I sighed. I had been acting spoilt thinking the entire Kuroshitsuji concept had been specially created – _only for me_. It was a beautiful manga-adapted-anime-adapted-musical-adapted-real TV series! Why shouldn't it have? I was its religious stalker! I cut my classes just to see it during school! I lined up midnight outside the stores to be the first person to buy the Magazine! I saved every month like a maniac just to attend the Kuroshitsuji Red Valentine event in Tokyo! And when I heard that some American lunatic producer had gathered a cast who were splitting images of the manga description in person, I had bedevilled my novice actress friend for months to get me into the crew of her film industry... for which... I was disowned by my foster family, thrown out of the arts college, enrolled as a flirty maid at some shitty lesbian bar and wound up in a rundown flat in a shady apartment with my obnoxious slutty actress friend who traded me in for my hot boyfriend! I had every fucking right to own those beautiful creatures gracing my eyes!

I eyed Ciel, a.k.a Gregory Butcher who was being cradled in the nook of the director's neck. He simply looked cute with those bluish grey bangs and those colossal glossy navy blue eyes. He was blushing, tinges of red painting his cheekbones as he shyly addressed the crowd gathering around him. My heart gave a twinge, and I wanted to wrap myself around him and lock him away from the world. I hugged the air around me in an imaginary embrace and kept still for a few moments.

Then my eyes shifted to the women mob that had collected at the centre of the stage. Girls swarmed around Sebastian a.k.a Carmelo Carter. I could have sworn there were imaginary silverwares shooting out of my eyes aiming for their heads. I wouldn't have minded sharing Ciel with them but Sebastian? No fucking way! **He was solely mine!**

My actress friend smacked me in my head.

' _OUCH!'_

'If we stay here any longer, you might actually kill someone. So let's go help the crew backstage.'

I reluctantly nodded and let her lead me out of the crowd. I had been an active member of the industry. Everybody depended on me and **'respected'** me– 'Hey, Ashen! Get your ass back here! How many times have I told you, the actors do the acting, the directors do the yelling, the crowd does the cheering and lilliputs like you do the back stage helping?' _See... so much respect!_

I smiled sheepishly at him, my fingers kneading imaginary wool under the hem of my shirt. 'Mr. Broderick, surely you don't mind me helping keep the crowd under control...'

'That is if you were actually doing that job. I bet on my boyfriend's goddamn huge dick you were watching the fucking shooting becoming one with the crowd. And don't you dare call me Mr. Broderick! Call me Brock!'

'Yes, Mister Brock!' I saluted him. 'So… What thou needth?' I bobbed, stretching my mini skirt.

My eyes almost popped out as I felt a huge load suddenly appear on my bent back. I staggered, reaching for the carton.

'Take these props to Mr. Butcher's room and when you are done, get your flat ass right back here! Do you understand?' He turned to leave.

'Y-yes... Mister Brock.' I continued to stagger, getting crushed under the bouldering weight. 'Assaholic Control Freak!' I murmured under my breath.

I am sure I did not imagine it, but even from that disposition, I saw my maniacal manager flick his middle finger in the air as he walked down the hallway.

'Having a nice time lilliput?' snorted a few blond brats rushing past me.

'Carry this weight on your little asses and see how nice it feels!' I yelled behind them.

'Ooooh! Scary! Scary! Scary little lilliput!' they sang in chorus.

'Fuck you!' They only sniggered as they disappeared down the hallway _. Aaaah! I hate this life... but not completely._

I was supposed to deliver the package to Mr. Butcher, i.e. Ciel's room. That purpose alone gave me new strength to endure. I forced my legs to walk forward. It took time but I was certain I had managed quite a distance. I sandwiched the box between me and the wall and let us both slide. Once it hit the ground, I straightened myself up and looked behind. 'WTF?'

I had barely managed to carry it past the janitor's room which was right next to the stage. I rolled my eyes. 'You have got to be fucking kidding me!' I let my tired leg send a nice kick to the stupid box but I hollered in pain instead. _Shit! My life sucks! And 'I' am the fucking reason!_

'Are you in pain?' a feminine voice sounded from my back.

I whirled on my heels. My jaw dropped. Ciel, I mean Gregory, slightly shorter than me, was watching me with concerned blue oceanic eyes atop chubby porcelain cheeks. A smile quickly planted itself on my face. 'No... Cie- I mean, Mr. Gregory. I am perfectly fine. Thank you for your concern.' _Oh my! Formal English is pouring out of me!_

'But... but I saw you kick that huge box with your leg. That must have hurt. Show me... I will apply my quick-heal-no-cry band aid on you... ' He knelt down to reach my ankle. _OMG! That was not happening! Did he just say quick-heal-no-cry band aid? What in the lord's name does that even mean?_

'Hey! What are you making my son do, wench?'

I jerked my head up to welcome another uninvited shock on my way. A fat red haired woman with tasteless purple streaks appeared right in front of me, shooting spit as she spoke. I looked down at the bent figure which was diligently plastering some weird pink bunny faced band aid on my ankle. _You got the wrong leg buddy!_ I wanted to say that but I simply pulled him up face to face afraid his big mother would start throwing some hidden knives from under her gushy skirt.

'Thank you very much, Cie- I mean Mr. Butcher. I am alright now.'

He flashed me a bright smile that stretched till his ears. 'Don't mention it.' _Ah! Soooooo cuuuuutttteeeee! I think my heart just dived for a second!_

'Move it Greg. How many times have I told you not to speak with strangers? It's dangerous!' smothered the fat lady, dragging Ciel away. He winked at me before turning and waved as he left.

 _It's dangerous for him to be around you cause you might actually roll over him and kill him instantly, you fat pig!_ I waved back at him smiling.

 _Now for the dreadful task!_ I set my entire body weight on the bothersome box and pushed it _. Budge! Budge! Budge! You dumb block!_ And miraculously it budged! _Yay!_ I did a little dance inside my head and continued with the strategy. It worked for 10 minutes max and I was lying down with my back against it. I looked over the box _. Little more and the box will be in Ciel's room. Come on Ashen! You can do it! You might get to meet the boy without that fat bitch around. So buck up, girl. You are strong!_ Inspiration filled me again and I continued down the hall.

After struggling and cursing for another 15 minutes, I finally hauled myself and the damned box in front of the door that bore 'GREGORY BUTCHER' in huge gold metallic letters. I quickly dived to wipe the sweat off my forehead on my micro mini jean skirt and directed my knuckles to tap gently on the door.

'Mr. Butcher? May I come in?'

 _Silence._

1 minute of 'patient' waiting...

 _Knock! Knock!_ 'Mr. Butcher?'

 _Silence._

45 seconds of 'patient' waiting...

 _Knock! Knock!_ 'Mr. Butcher?'

 _Silence._

30 seconds of 'patient' waiting...

 _Knock! Knock!_ 'Mr. Butcher?'

 _Silence._

15 seconds of 'patient' waiting...

 _Knock! Knock!_ 'Mr. Butcher?'

 _Oookkkaaayyyy._ I glanced at my radium watch. _That was weird. I had seen him just 40 minutes ago. Now no matter how busy an actor he was, he definitely will spare himself at least 40 minutes of rest after a shoot. I bet that fat bitch dragged him away to some inconspicuous interview to flaunt off her rising son._ I sighed _. There goes my precious chance to explore Ciel's dressing room._ I looked at the box. _Seriously? Why does my life have to be so painful?_

 _Click!_

The door opened unannounced like in some horror movie and I found myself staring dumbfounded into piercing green orbs that- I swear to god- bore killing intent more intense than my own!

'You know people usually leave when not answered after the first three knocks' spoke the blonde head spitting imaginary fire.

'I-I... um... I am really sorry to disturb you Eliza- I mean, Ms. Melanie but Broc- I mean Mr. Broderick asked me to deliver this prop box to Cie- I mean Mr. Butcher's room.' I stuttered hopelessly under that ferocious gaze.

'Mum and bro took off for an interview earlier. Go back and come later. I am busy.' She was about to close the door.

 _Now you must be out of your fucking mind kid! First you don't open the door even if you are there and now you are shutting the door on my face? Do you even know how taxing this errand was? A few of my rib cage bones have crumbled as a result of it!_

My reflexive nimble leg spontaneously lodged itself in the crevice jamming the door from closing. _Ooooo! That hurt's like hell!_

'Please...' I winced. 'I have absolute orders from Mr. Broderick. I must deliver this box by today. I promise, it won't take a minute.'

The blonde narrowed her eyes at me _. OMG! I am so in trouble! So in trouble! I hope she really doesn't know fencing like Elizabeth does, or she might actually sever my head off!_

'Ok'

'Huh?' That was unexpected so I continued with my stupefied stare.

'Quick. Bring it in and get out soon. I don't have all day.'

'Ye-yes mam!' I shuffled to place myself behind the box and laid my weight on it. _Budge stupid boulder!_

2 minutes of 'patient' waiting...

 _Fuck!_ The box had not moved an inch!

'This is madness!' the lass yelled rolling her eyes, her whirlpool hair bouncing all around her head.

I watched pathetically as she pounced behind the box and kicked it so hard, the box actually flew into the room, spilling its contents all over the floor. I eyed her cautiously _. I have to be careful in the future! She is a demon!_

'What the fuck are you looking at my face for? Go clean up the mess! It's all your fault!' she shoved me into the room.

'Ye-yes mam!'

Elizabeth a.k.a Melanie Butcher watched me from the mirror while I clumsily refilled the box with its belongings. _What are these things anyway? They don't even look like a part of the Kuroshitsuji setting. Well whatever. I got into Ciel's room and that's more than enough!_

I stood triumphantly now that all the pieces had returned to the box. _Time for some sight-seeing!_ I glanced at Melanie. She was busy texting something on her iPhone. _Good._ I let my eyes sweep the room.

Pink Chairs, pink sofa, pink curtains, pink bunny soft toys, pink teddy bears, pink tortoises, pink shoes, pink shirts, pink pants, pink hairbrush, pink hair dryer, pink make-up kit... Oh! Pink pink pink everywhere! My eyes started to rotate in their sockets.

'You are still here?'

'Oh! I was just admiring this soft toy. It's so... pink... and cute.' I said holding the pink bunny by its ears, a strained smile on my face.

'Ya, I gifted my brother that on his 11th birthday. He said he loved it.'

My jaw dropped but I recovered quickly. 'O~Oh! How... thoughtful. Mr. Gregory gifted you this. You must really love pink. Everything here speaks of you.' I drawled. _I very, essentially, must have heard her wrong!_

'No. The opposite actually. Whatever you see in this room belongs to my brother.'

My jaw dropped again but this time I didn't bother to recover. 'Ooo~ooo oho oho ho!' I let out a weak nervous laugh.

She eyed me nonchalantly, 'So if you are done here, get the fuck out already.'

'Oh... Oh yes. I was just about to. Thank you for your time Ms. Melanie.' I shuffled out of the room but quickly found my body hugging the floor carpet.

 _Ciel! Ciel! What have you become? At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if you announced you were gay one day. Oh! My poor baby! What happened to that stoic sophisticated character of yours?_

'Oh! Isn't that the new Victoria Secret Lacy Cheekster panty?'

My hands shot to pull down my skirt as my eyes frantically searched for the mysterious spectator.

'You know I have always wanted one of those.'

My heart shrank back. Standing in front of me was William T Spears a.k.a Jonathan Peralta, with his flowy pelvic cut golden skirt with a rip off shimmering golden blouse just short on his navel and a pink feather boa slung carelessly around his neck. His pointy golden stilettoes clustered around my knees as he held out his gawky fingers smothered with fancy rings and an even fancier smile playing at his sparkling gold sprinkled lips.

I shuddered but I still took his hand anyway. 'Thanks Mr. Peralta.'

'Oh! Please.' His body swayed back and forth as did his long winding earrings and I think his golden wig did a little dance too. 'Call me Lady Glittoria! No other name befits a lady always glittering in gold, don't you think.'

 _You think? You just murdered a cool, complacent and the most respected Shinigami in the entire history of Kuroshitsuji!_ I gulped. 'Yes, Mr. Pera- I mean Lady Glit- Glittoria.'

'That's right honey!' his waxed fingers brushed my flushed cheeks, leaving traces of gold powder on my skin. _Somebody... Anybody... Please... SAVE ME!_

'Hey Peralta, we have to leave now!' rushed a man, his red hair neatly cropped to reveal his speckless forehead, his suit clean pressed, hugging his lanky figure sufficiently.

 _Ah! Life saviour!_ I looked up at the approaching figure. _Ohhhhh!_ My heart shrunk further.

Grell Sutcliffe, my most admired character of all in Kuroshitsuji had presented himself before me with the most unexpected tragedy of the century. His long gushy red hair had disappeared behind his back and his most beloved red coat was replaced with a dark hideous tuxedo. All the redness had been dyed black except the rim of his glasses that bore traces of red en route to fading into black. My heart shed bloody tears.

He shot me a quick glance with his golden-green eyes lacking any acknowledgment and focused on his partner. 'Peralta, why aren't you wearing your glasses? You know you easily get lost without them. The exit is that way.' He literally spun his partner 180 degrees and led him by the hand.

'Oh stop fussing Craig! I can see alright. This lady here was showing me a rather spectacular view earlier so I just dropped in to greet by.' The drag queen rushed back to my side and to my horror, lifted my skirt without warning.

I quickly yanked my little skirt out of his gold powder dusted hands and blushed profusely, my pale cheeks burning red.

'Oh how cute!' Will- I mean Jonathan caught my scanty cheeks between his bony fingers and swayed me back and forth. _Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!_

Gre- I mean Craig must have heard my misery stricken heart's cry and jerked his partner's hand back just in time. 'Sorry for the fuss, Ms. ...?'

'Ashen Amor' I replied soothing my now crimson-turned-pale blue cheeks.

'Craig Dalton. Nice to meet you. I am sorry for the trouble my thoughtless partner has been causing you.' He directed a firm hand my way. My eyes widened spontaneously. _Pa-pa-pa-pa-partner? Did he just say PARTNER? Are they in a relationship? The real Will would have committed suicide if he found out he was in a relationship with Grell. OMG I think I am losing my foothold in this universe!_

'No problem Mr. Dalton.' I shook it dejectedly, my heart crumbling on the inside.

'Oh Please Craig! The lady must have felt anything but happiness to have gained our cognizance. Right honey?' Peralta winked at me, his shimmering long eye lashes whipping his lower eyelid.

I managed a meek smile, 'Of course Mr. Peral- I mean Lady Glittoria. It's an honour to have been noticed by you.'

 _Reality can be catastrophically heart breaking..._ That's what I thought when I saw my beloved characters walk away hand in hand, oblivious to my inner thoughts.

I twirled on my heels and shot down the hallway, my despair getting the better of me _. This is chaotic! There is no way I am prepared to meet the rest of the Kuroshitsuji Crew!_ Just then-

'Hey, wait up!'

I awkwardly halted in my tracks but did not have the nerve to turn around.

The figure or rather figures wheeled towards me taking their own leisure time. My heart was pounding in my chest, at an inhuman pace cause I recognized that VOICE _. Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! NOOOOoooooo!_

I stiffly turned my torso around to take another impending emotional attack _. Dear God! Can anything get more devastating?_ I froze in my place.

The acclaimed servant trio was approaching me. Even from that distance, I could see silver piercings gleaming randomly across Finny a.k.a Jamie Hubert's face and ears. His hair was yellow as it should have been except for that horrendous blue streak that coursed right through the centre. I almost fainted when he neared me.

'Here, this is yours, right? Says Gary Hemmsworth...' he put forth a pearl beaded bracelet, the bead line specked with thin silver connections and many small black feather hangings.

I looked at the bracelet and then at my naked hand in a really slow motion. 'Yes, yes... thank you Mr. Hemmsworth.' I hauled a sane reply out of my wrecked brain and flashed an artificial gay smile at Bard as I took it. He was smiling brightly before abruptly jumping to reach little Finn- I mean Jamie's ears and whispering something.

'Don't mention it... he says.' Answered Jamie.

 _Wait! What in the world was happening? Is he auditioning for Snake's role or something? But that's not possible right?_ I think my obvious confusion was evident on my face for Mey-rin, a.k.a Amie Hemmsworth, her huge glasses conveniently concealing three-fourth of her face, enhanced by her short bob red hair, replied without taking her eyes off her phone, 'Gary doesn't speak in front of girls.'

' _What? I thought those characters existed only in Big Bang theory!'_ My prying eyes slyly glanced over to Amie's chest. _'Then does that make you what I think it makes you...?'_

I think she was watching me cause her head shot up immediately and tears streamed out of her eyes. 'I am... I am a girl... _hic... hic..._ Gary! Gary! She... she... she... _hic..._ thinks I am one of those...' she pointed her finger at me. I lurched back clutching my chest in shock.

'I-I... I am sorry...' I began to stutter completely losing ground to the sudden outburst. _I didn't even say anything!_

Gary held his hand up with a silent understanding nod and folded his arms around his sister in a comforting embrace. He still didn't talk to either of us.

Jamie quickly sprang to my side and whispered, 'Don't mind her. She is suffering bipolar.'

 _Uh-huh! I kinda figured that!_ A tired smile crept up to my lips but disappeared when I noticed his piercings. _Oh! Finnian's adorable face – completely destroyed_! A picture of me, tugging a few strands of my hair out, emerged in front of my eyes.

'I give me number later.' He winked at me.

I was taken aback. 'Aa... um... Excuse me...' I babbled.

'I see you charmed by me face.' He flashed a coquettish smile and took me by my waist. 'You have great... figure...' he demonstrated with his hand, drawing waves in the air, 'minus short height.' He continued placing his index finger on his lips bearing 3 painful piercings. 'I don't mind me spend time with you. We catch up Formosa Cafe after shoot? Tomorrow? You know... get know each other... you know what I meen...'

My brain made a 360 degree spin. _Ah! Please spend some time to work on your English instead! Wait, how do you even play your role in the shoot? More importantly how does Bar- I mean Gary do his role?_ I only smiled, straining to keep the corners of my lips from plummeting to display my utter disgust at being hit on by a perverse punk kid, the same height as me and WAY YOUNGER THAN ME! 'I don't think my boyfriend will appreciate that.' An instant lie bubbled out of my mouth.

He shrugged, going back to his companions, 'To bad... But let me know if break up. I will be... happy... patch up... you know what I meen...!' He winked again before disappearing down the hallway.

 _What nerve! That cocky brat!_ I huffed as I found my way back to the backstage again.

I must have been severely affected by all the disappointments cause I bumped straight into a pure white clad body heading my way.

'Ouch!' I rubbed my nose and looked up, 'Oh! I am so sorrrrrrrrr- ' _SEBASTIAN?_


	3. Spotlight

**Spotlight**

'Are you lost little bird?' his velvet voice spread all over my face which- I bet my life on it- was drained of all colour instead of ripening like a tomato.

I stood frigid, encompassed by thick layers of fictitious ice. That was a fatal blow to my already inflicted heart! I was sure it couldn't handle the pressure and before a reply could shoot out of my mouth, my legs shot out from under me and I readily drifted into a temporary coma.

The last thing I remember was Sebas- no **PRIEST Carmelo Carter** , hoisting my limp body in his arms and walking up the hallway. _That definitely is a costume for another shoot_ _!_ _I, very_ _,_ _essentially,_ _must have imagined him in WHITE!_

After what seemed like hours of blissful sleep, which otherwise, interrupted by ludicrous appearances of the Kuroshitsuji cast displaying illegitimate behaviour according to the Black Butler laws, I flickered my eyelids open right when Sebastian made his ridiculous entrance draped in priestly robes. I jerked my body up and let my mouth vent out a powerful ear splitting scream, ' **SEBASTIAN NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!** **'**

The body in white clad jumped instantly to my side, holding up a glass of water to my face, running its wide pale hands, hugged by his white alb, up and down my back, attempting to calm my nightmare stricken face.

'Oh God! It's a terrible nightmare... I am still seeing Sebastian in White!' I slumped back into the couch and forced my eyes shut, waving my hands in the air attempting to wade off the hideous man in white. But my hands hit real flesh. More like a slap actually and I jerked my eyes open.

' _Ouch!'_ said the man, rubbing his cheeks.

'OK now I am officially in HELL…', I said rolling my eyes shut.

'God forbid should you utter such an unholy word, the first thing you wake up!' the man squeaked, springing up and instantly drawing crosses over his body and in the air with his eyes closed and his mouth moving up and down in a constant mumble.

I watched him spellbound, unable to voice a single word from my mouth which had gone maddeningly numb.

'Girl, are you catholic?' he asked his eyes all sparkling with sincerity or pride or belief or whatever it was he held in himself.

'I am definitely not an atheist… but… I don't believe in the concept of god…' I said slowly. I knew I should have chosen my words more carefully but my tongue had a tendency to run faster than my brain. So I simply prepared myself mentally for a painfully long religious lecture.

' _Tut, Tut, Tut, Tut'_ , he said, shaking his index finger, displeased with the answer. 'If you don't believe in god, then you are nothing short of an atheist. God is everything, the light you see, the wind you feel, the water you drink, the mountains, the ice, the birds, the animals, you, me... everything', he said with a sated smile.

A muscle ticked away angrily under my eye. Nothing he said made sense! _The light you see is from the god damn sun that rules our solar system, the wind you feel is actually the stirring of the molecules that make up the atmosphere, thanks to the sun, the water you drink is a compound that was on earth even primordial to your own god's appearance, the mountains are a result of agitated tectonic activities inside earth, the ice is because the sun's rays are too lazy to blaze the poles, the birds and animals evolved from a line of reptiles only found on the internet, you and I were born thanks to our parents who got tangled in a hideous arrangement called MARRIAGE !_ I wanted to scream all that back at the priest who went on canting about some fourth chapter of some Old or New Testament... god knows what. I simply let his words slide across my ears withholding their progress into my tender brain which had been stacking up quite a lot of tension thanks to all the previous unexpected encounters.

I watched quietly, hugging my knees as he rambled on and on... god this god that… we this we that… waiting patiently for his dreary lecture to come to an end. My foster family had always been like this, so it wasn't a completely new sensation. Complaining had been elaborate, decked with long dreary lectures and appreciations – if any – were always scantily furnished with mediocre words like _Good_ perpetually followed by _Could do much better_ …I yawned my memories away that had been rekindled thanks to the rambling priest and glanced at him through the V formed between my folded knees.

He had the features of Sebastian alright, a pointy long nose, a slender willowy build accompanied by long lean legs, bangs of raven black hair pulled neatly behind the ears, high cheekbones structured after the European look, thin lips curling effectively as each word was spoken with self-satisfaction, his unusual red eyes sparkling with dainty interest. Everything about the face was perfect. It was only when my eyes found their way down the neck, my mind started to fret and I looked away. Sebastian was a Demon for Christ's sake. Not a shred of white should even be allowed anywhere near him. I sighed to let him know that I was genuinely tired and my ears were hurting but that did not seem to lower his enthusiasm. To my utter dismay, he continued with an even greater inspiration now found in my frowning face. I buried my head in between my legs. _There was no hope…_

 _Knock Knock! Knock Knock!_

I lazily lifted up my woozy head that had put up a tough battle with the priest's biblical recital to peer at the person who had made their entrance. I bet I had never been so happy to find my maniacal manager standing in the doorway. He was my saviour... just this once. I beamed at him but started fidgeting when he shot me a death glare. _Where the hell were you? And what's with all this passing out about?_ His eyes spoke.

I simply shrugged and continued to sulk. Now I had to prepare my mind for an earful from my gay manager.

He strode over to the sofa and flashed his business smile, 'Can you walk honey?'

 _Oh! It_ _started_ _happening!_ The sweet talk that would gradually morph into a sinister lecture. I kept my head low knowing what was to be expected and simply nodded.

'Thank you so much for the help Mr Carter. I apologize for the inconvenience.'

'Not a problem at all.' He looked over to me and said, 'Let me know if you are interested to turn into a Catholic. I will be happy to introduce you to our Church.'

 _Not in a million years! Instead you should get out of that place, Sebastian!_ I flashed my signature smile at him, 'Thank you Seb- I mean Mr. Carter. I will consider your offer.'

'Thanks Brock.' I said slowly once out of the priest's earshot.

'What for? I am the one who should be thanking you instead. Thanks to you I got to see those taut buttocks I am so fond of…' he said dreamy eyed, his hands squeezing some fictitious thing lewdly. I shuddered. 'But I personally prefer him in Black clothes. White is just not his thing. He really should quit that manipulative institution.'

'For once we share the same opinion! I love you Brock!' I beamed, hugging him sideways.

'No, no. No, no. No hugging and getting touchy feely. I am still mad at the fact that since your tiny ass didn't return from the tiny errand that was assigned to you, I had to hear an earful from Mr. Stockworm.' He pushed me away. 'And refrain saying I love you unless you have grown a 9 inch dick.'

'Sorry… but it's rude to shove away such genuine love, Brock' I replied, feigning hurt.

'Oh Please! We are not on the sets honey. So quit acting. I know too well what you think of me inside that canny brain of yours.'

'Ah! So rude!' I laughed, and glad that I was spared a lecture. 'Anyway, what did Stockworm want with you?' I shuddered uttering that disgusting name and remembering his disgusting face. But he was the head manager of all the departments and if one needed to get to do some acknowledgeable acting, in other words be in the good books of the producers, he was the way. All was well if he had a nice personality but knowing such a perverted bastard he was, I simply felt revolted to be acknowledged by him.

'No not me. You.' Brock said smiling.

I stopped dead in my tracks. 'What do you mean?' I asked slowly, dread pooling in my stomach.

'Well he saw you backstage some time ago and he said he had a perfect role for you. He asked you to meet him at the _Milk and Cats_ ad agency on the 4th floor.' This time he shuddered. 'Who even comes up with such lame ad agency names? God should beat some gay genes into him.' He looked back. 'Ashen… hey… What happened honey? Are you not feeling well again?' He shuffled back to me.

'Brock, what if he asks me to give him a you-know-what in return for giving the role…?' I trembled at the thought.

'A Blowjob?' Brock asked, raising his eyebrow.

'Well yes! I am not sucking his goddamn cock. I rather quit acting than become his whore!' I squealed. **Yes, I definitely had my morals tight under the skin.**

'Honey, I don't think he requests 'a favour', in his terms, out of someone who he himself is willing to cast. Besides, he does that only to those who approach him first. So don't fret, honey. Everything will be fine. Also, I don't think it's wise to mess this chance up. Who knows when another one will come around?' He rubbed my back gently, smiling warmly.

'Brock will you accept my proposal for marriage? Because right now I so wanna marry you!' I chirped, hugging his tall lanky figure.

'Oh! You want me traumatized for the rest of my life from straight passionless kisses and sex? Please! No can do. Now get your ass working Ashen Amor.'

'Roger!' I said and scooted.

I barged my way into the ground floor dressing room and grabbing my car keys and handbag, ran to the elevator. _Which floor was it again? Yeah 4_ _th_ _floor. Come on dumb lift, come down already._

3 minutes of 'patient' waiting...

 _Damn you!_ I shot up the stairs like my life depended on it. _I am going to get the role no matter what_ _,_ _before that lecher changes his mind. And I am going to stun everyone with my acting skills. So much so, they might make me a part of the_ _Black Butler_ _Set._ A big happy smile crept up my face. _My life is going to make a 180 degree spin tonight!_

I panted and cursed as my tiny legs landed on the 4th floor. I quickly dashed through the sliding doors that read Milk and Cats Advertisement Agency and let out a tiny chuckle when I remembered what Brock had commented.

'Oh My! You have got to be kidding me!' I was flabbergasted at how many heads were actually occupying the room. The assembly was humongous. _I must be dreaming. Either the agency is super popular despite the lame name or some big shot is actually co-acting tonight!_ – is what I thought.

At the centre was the brightly lit stage that was completely blocked out by the human army that had gathered in the room. I quickly waded through the sweaty bodies to the centre. I found what I was looking for quickly enough. How could anyone miss that amazing bald spot bathing in the spotlight that screamed attention from miles away? 'Mr. Stockworm, you... you called.' I hankered to the ground.

'Ah! Ms. Ashen, I have been waiting ages for you. Where have you been? You look so tired…' he stooped to touch my shoulder.

 _EEEEeeeewwwwwwww! Take your filthy hands off me, you lusty goblin!_ I smiled. 'I had a tiny errand to make on behalf of Mr. Broderick.' I gently brushed his hand off. 'I apologize for the delay. Has the crew already gathered for the shoot?'

'Of course! See... Right there is the cast.' He pointed to the stage.

My eyes popped out at what met my eyes…


	4. A very very BAD JOKE

**A very very** _ **BAD JOKE**_ **…**

In the centre of the stage was a Holstein cow on a patch of fake grass with the backdrop of a never ending pasture under a cloudless blue sky. It mooed when our gazes met. Beside the cow was a petite little black cat licking its paws and stroking its ears, indifferent to all the countless human gazes gathering at it. I looked back at Stockworm. He was grinning and my head was spinning. _WTF is a cow and a lackadaisical cat doing on the set?_ I blinked at him ridiculously.

'Mr. Stockworm, I am afraid I do not comprehend the situation...' I started slowly.

'Well… this is an ad for the _Milk and Cats_ adagency right? Hence the cow and the cat.' He beamed and I still wore my confused face.

'But Mr. Stockworm, what is my role in the ad?'

'Ah that! You see we managed to get the cat and the cow and as per the script, we have to make the cat drink milk from the cow's udder. But the problem is the cat is too non-indulgent to perform the act. So we had to get a replacement...' He smiled again. 'The replacement is you.'

 _What?_ I closed my eyes and dropped to the floor. Now I understood why the crowd had gathered. It was a monkey show all right. They wanted to see who that candidate would be who would make a fool out of him or herself. My suspicion became an assertion when I heard someone from the crowd call out, 'Hey bring in the human cat already!'

I drifted my eyes to see the blonde trio positioned right in the first row and whistling and howling in sadistic joy. _What could get more worse?_

'Ms. Ashen, Ms. Ashen. Are you alright?'

I looked at his monkey features and the insanely huge belly towering upon me with my half open eyes. _Till now I had always thought you were a_ _Dumb_ _sex_ _-_ _lusting goblin but today I upgrade you_ _r_ _Dumbness_ _to_ _a whole new level._

I picked my wrecked self up. _So much for wanting to act in an ad._ I kicked an imaginary stone inside my head. I again put on my signature gay smile, 'Mr. Stockworm, I must refuse this offer. It strictly is not... in my taste. And I am lactose intolerant. Even if a little milk gets into my system, I could go into an anaphylactic shock.' Another lie... I loved milk!

'Anaphy..ta... what?' He asked dumbfounded.

'Never mind. The point is, I cannot act the role. Besides you can make do this ad even without me... using graphics. Technology is so advanced and handy these days. Anyway, thank you for your offer but I must decline.' I shook his hands and was about to leave, but he kept my hand sandwiched between his. I looked back stunned. 'Mr. Stockworm!'

'Graphics won't do. It has to be the real deal. I will pay you thrice the amount this agency is offering me for the ad. So please...'

'And how much will that be?' I knew the range would be insignificant.

'30,000 Dollars.'

My jaw dropped. _They were paying him 10,000 dollars for this ridiculous ad?_

'Count me in!' I said without a second thought. _That settles my house rent and hair spa for the coming three months!_

He beamed again. 'Blake! Get the makeup artist!'

I shuffled to the backstage, rolling my eyes. _Your morals sure are tight under your skin_ _,_ _Ashen_ _!_ _!_

* * *

His eyebrow twitched as he stood almost half-naked before the notorious mortician who had just yawned away at his well thought-out joke.

Cheeks slightly flushed, the Earl began to undress his shirt, the only other clothing apart from his trousers. He closed his eyes, 'This is the last joke I am left with…'

The grim reaper beamed through his matted hair. 'Not giving up are we, Earl?' he snickered. 'Why don't you call your skilled butler? If it is him, he could crack me up in a few seconds…'

'Don't talk nonsense. I cannot rely on him forever… a mere butler.'

'Then give me the best laughter of this century, Earl. Do not disappoint me…' challenged the reaper, his grin stretching from ear-to-ear.

Ciel's eyebrow twitched again.

Sebastian was stationed outside the cottage for nearly 40 minutes now. He glanced briefly at his pocket watch and then at the shabby wooden door before him. _Waiting_ was not one of his virtues lest his prey had not ordered him to do so. But there was a fine line drawn to when and where he could disobey the order provided the urgency of the situation. This they had mutually agreed and had put into practice during the long years he had been serving the noble. And 45 minutes was right on that line.

When the seconds hand swept close to 12 with a few nano seconds under, the entire cottage rattled with the Undertaker's laughter soaring through the smoky night sky of London.

That was the signal. In the blink of an eye, Sebastian was inside the cottage.

'He.. he.. he.. he… But..' spoke Undertaker, wiping the drool off his goofy face, his body trembling from the aftereffects of cracking up. 'Are you sure about this, Earl?'

'Yes' replied a flushed Ciel, pissed at himself for having to entertain the autopsy-loving-lunatic every single time he needed a favour and at his faithful servant whose curiosity filled gaze was blazing in to his back, as he re-dressed himself.

'And make it quick' he added with impatience.

'Very well then, Earl' Undertaker stood tall, his malicious looking death-scythe materializing from behind black ominous clouds. He deftly twirled the scythe, causing the clouds to swirl.

A tiny void peeped at the young master and even before a gasp could escape the Earl's mouth, he was whisked away in to the void with the demon butler religiously following after him.

' _Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…._ '

'Brace yourself up, Earl! It is going to be a bumpy ride!' Undertaker shrieked after them, tearing up with laughter again.

'Interesting… very interesting… _he he he_ …' he sniggered as the cloud condensed into a tiny crystal ball and landed on his palm.


	5. LOST

**LOST…**

'Cat ears?'

'Check' I said touching my hairband that had a pair of flanking cat ears.

'Swishy tail?'

'Check' I said glancing at the projecting piece of linen on my rear.

'Fluffy paws?'

'Check' I said looking at the fake paws covering my hands and feet.

'Scanty Breasts?'

'Check. Wait, What?' I looked up annoyed. 'Susan!'

 _'Ha, ha, ha!_ Just checking if you haven't gone bonkers yet! How did he get you to agree for this shit anyway?'

'He said he would pay me thrice the amount he received from the agency.'

'Fucking Jesus Christ!'

I flinched. I always disliked the way she swore.

'You better be careful honey. He might have some ulterior motives. Has he asked you for 'the favour' yet?'

'No he did not and I am hoping he doesn't.' I fidgeted.

'Anyway, don't get yourself fucked up okay? Yours is the only little ass that hasn't gone down his boner yet.'

'Stop spouting such ominous things!' I screeched frantically.

'Hey, just giving a friendly warning. What in the world would I not give to become a virgin like you again?' She winked.

 _Ah! She is a goner._ I had realized it the day she came running to me and my slutty actress friend saying that she had slept with Jake McCable and was going to marry him, the greatest playboy in the studio. We were not surprised. She had been a nice person before a lot of things happened and her life went spiralling downwards. She subjected herself to whoring, drugs and what not. But that was life. We all had our nasty little secrets which when out in the open dramatically changed us.

My tummy rumbled. And I was not hungry. It was more like a powerful tribal dance going on, on the inside. I felt dizzy.

'Why Ms. Ashen, you look wonderful!'

I whirled around to find myself being scrutinized by a pair of lustful eyes. I suspect I could see a thin streak of drool exit the corner of his mouth that was half open in awe. I averted my own eyes, already regretting my decision.

I perked up when he advanced slowly, his hands leading in front of him, his fingers curving in a lewd manner. I ducked and walked past him. 'Mr. Stockworm, we must not keep the agency people waiting. Let's hurry up and finish the shoot.' I smiled. _And I'll get the hell out of here!_

'Yes, yes Ms. Ashen, we should hurry.' He wiped his drool with the back of his hand.

 _EEEEeeewwww! Gross!_ I hurriedly got to the side of the stage when the whole crowd burst into whistles, claps and howls, none of which were encouraging. I shrugged. _The show must go on..._

'Hey isn't that the lilliput from morning?' One of the blonde blokes noted. I lurched back. _Damn it!_ The other two blondes noticed me too and burst out laughing! _A_ _aa_ _h! I so wanna die..._

My misery seemed to have no end. I was asked by the director - _Why do they even have a director for this lame act!_ \- to get on my knees and suck off the cow's udder. I looked around the curious eyes gazing at me. _I am so gonna get scarred for the rest of my life!_

But I bent down anyway, on all fours, swishing my tail as I kneeled. The crowd suddenly went quiet. I glanced back, slightly surprised. _Did they suddenly admire my swishy tail?_ But I caught myself looking into eager eyes that showed absolute mockery. It was like they were waiting... waiting for that final touch before exploding into sadistic convulsions. The blond trio was nowhere to be found though. I just rolled my eyes. _Damn sadistic people!_

I sighed tiredly by the time I had finished. I had so wanted to finish the shoot in my first attempt so I would be exempted a second series of mockery but somehow today, the so-called-god had contrastingly different plans for me. I was made to repeat the act twenty times before the monstrous director called the shoot off and the crowd dispersed. Twenty fucking times I had to suck off that stinking udder! The cow had seemed strangely sane throughout. I was worried I would be kicked but luckily I wasn't. _Did it mistake me for its calf?_ I had no idea.

'Ms. Ashen!', the director approached a sulking me, 'You were amazing on the stage! I am going to recommend to the agency to make you the mascot of the _Milk and Cats_ ads in the future.'

 _Amazing, really? And a Mascot? Don't you think you have done enough damage already?_ I looked at him sourly. **The** **First** **culprit behind my public humiliation**. 'Um... Mr. Clifton, I don't think I will survive another dose of mortification as I did today. I am inclined to decline.'

He shook his shaggy head that bore hair that fizzed out of his skull, clouding around him in the shape of cotton candy. _Was that a wig?_ 'You are missing a great opportunity Ms. Ashen.' he said. 'Nobody gets to be a mascot for a product at your age. There is no hurry. Reconsider my offer.' He smiled and left.

 _Reconsider? My ass! Like hell I will do that unreasonable ad again! How does a cat sucking off a cow's udder even be a probable promotion idea? People are insane! They probably just leave their brains at home before coming to work!_

'Meow...' A warm body pressed against mine, getting all comfortable, rubbing its back and tail as it sandwiched itself between my legs. I narrowed my eyes at the cat. **The** **S** **econd culprit behind my public humiliation**. But I simply shrugged and picked up the feline. I could never hate cats. They were the only sane things thriving on earth, never once getting influenced by the mad world out there. I stroked its ears that drew pleasant purring sounds out of the feline. She was magical and beautiful. Solid black supple body with silky raven fur and heavenly soft squishy paws. Such alluring eyes. I wished they were red. I kept blinking into those dreamy eyes and failed to notice danger enclosing upon me with twinkling eyes.

Just when the figure almost closed up on me, I whirled around, shoving the cat into Mr. Stockworm's face.

'O~Ooo!' he said, falling back on his rear. I had commendable reflexes.

'Oh! Mr. Stockworm, are you alright?' I knelt beside him, continuing to stroke the cat, not in the least sorry.

'Ms. ... Ms. Ashen... could you... could you get the cat out of my face? I-I am scared of them.' he faltered, sprawled on the floor like a clumsy bear.

'Awww! No way! She is so adorable... How could you even be scared of such a cute thing?' I asked, not bothering to back off. _That ass definitely needed a lesson for humiliating me!_ **The** **T** **hird culprit behind my public humiliation**.

He squeaked, covering his face. 'Please, please.. I beg you.. take it away...'

I smiled evilly with satisfaction before pulling the feline back into my arms. Her existence at that moment of time was upsetting the lusty goblin. And I loved cats. There was no more of a reason required, why she shouldn't be continued to be craddled in my arms. I didn't let her go.

He sat upright and huffed, pulling out a rose scented handkerchief and wiping his sweaty bald head, 'T-Thank you Ms. Ashen. You are so kind.'

'Sure Mr. Stockworm.' I continued to smile charismatically. 'By the way when can I expect my payment?'

He looked up instantly, 'Why don't you collect it tomorrow in my office in the afternoon?' he replied offhandedly. _Of course! A lusty goblin like him never needed rehearsals for this kind of invitation._

I smiled, 'I am afraid I have some other appointments at that time, Mr. Stockworm. Wouldn't you be kind enough and pay me right here?'

'But I don't have that much cash on-'

'Oh! Then a cheque will do. No problem.' I cut him off.

He fidgeted. He was trying to think of some other excuse.

'Come on Mr. Stockworm. It's old news that you carry your cheque book with you at all times. Be kind enough to handover the cheque, please...'

'And what if I decline?'

I shrugged, shaking my head, 'I will simply have your ailurophobia revealed to everyone! That will be news. And I bet there a lot of people in this industry who would love to watch you go berserk while being chased by cute little innocent kitties.' I gave him a nasty smile.

He was spellbound. Terror danced in his eyes as ecstasy in mine. I was not even going to justify my actions to myself at that point. The feeling of tormenting someone was too alluring and I was currently enjoying that moment. I could understand why demons enjoyed traumatizing humans. They simply gave such exquisite reactions!

After a brief moment of a cold war that went on between my head manager and my eyes, he sighed and reached for his breast pocket. Pulling out his wallet and a crisp cheque leaf, he quickly signed off $ 30,000 and handed it to me.

'Thanks Mr. Stockworm.' I said, taking the cheque and 'abruptly' dropping the cat. 'Oops!'

'Ms. Ashen!' the manager screamed his head off as the feline landed on his thighs.

'Sorry, sorry.' I chuckled and lifted the cat nimbly and walked away, laughing to myself.

'There you go buddy!' I let the feline go once I had reached the backstage room.

'How in the world did you pull off that shit unscathed?' Susan rounded on me, admiration glittering in her hazel eyes.

'You saw how I pulled it off.' I laughed, settling on a chair.

'Man, I will have to fuck Jesus to get that kind of money right after the shoot!'

'No, just Stockworm. He will be more than willing to give away all his wealth, which I bet even Jesus never had in his lifetime.'

'You are right. I am actually fine with it, if it were not for that pot belly hanging around him.'

'No pain no gain, Susan.'

'Yeah.' she sighed and settled beside me. 'By the way, Jake is holding a party at his home. Do you wanna come? There will be lots of booze and lots of hot guys.'

'And lots of meaningless sex. Count me out.' I stood up and stretched.

'Well that's life.'

'No, that's your life.'

'So what you call making love to that clay lump in your room, meaningful?'

I whirled around horrified, 'Who in the world told you about that?'

She gave me a greasy smile, throwing her hands to the sides, 'Guess who?'

I rolled my eyes, 'Sasha, that bitch!'

Susan giggled and projected her pierced face close to mine, 'So when do I get the official invitation to your room to see your creation?'

'You will never be invited officially or unofficially.' I pushed her face away, disgusted.

'Tsk! Stingy. You shouldn't hide your creativity in your closet, Ashen. Let it illuminate the world.'

'My creation is illuminating my world. And that's sufficient.' I huffed, angered. 'By the way aren't you getting late?'

'Oh holy shit fucking Christ!' She dashed to the makeup room to grab her things.

I flinched again. _Why doesn't she stop with just holy shit?_ Well, that was just her.

She darted toward the entrance but shuffled back into the room, 'Hey, that bitch friend of yours told me to tell you that she is taking your car. See ya.'

 _Whaaaaaat?_ I stared after her. _Unfucking believable! What was wrong with people? Owning things that are not even theirs!_

I stomped my foot angrily before turning around to look for my bag. But something seemed wrong. I looked around the lockers, the tables, the chairs and the benches. My belongings were nowhere to be seen. I panicked and ran to the adjoining makeup room. Again, no bag. Not even a trace of it. I stood grounded to the floor, a foreboding sensation sinking in me. _Did Sasha take the bag too? But that was not possible. She must have only taken the car keys._ I was very certain for the same had repeated numerous times in the past.

I rewound the entire scenario from the moment I had walked inside the door of the agency. _What seemed odd? Did I meet anybody_ _who holds a grudge on my way_ _? No. Could Mr. Stockworm have taken the bag to take revenge? Not possible. Did someone mistake it for theirs? Nobody will mistake such a lame bag for theirs. Then wh_ _ere_ _in the world-_

I stopped short. One thing had happened that was unusual in the evening. The blond trio's mysterious disappearance during the act!

I raked my brain upon this discovery _. What would a fucking 10 year old think to pull a prank? Wait, wait, wait... The 10 year olds think_ _nasty_ _these days. It is highly likely that my bag is floating down some drainage hole, probably transported to a completely different city by now. Shit! What do I do? Ok, I will just believe they are dumb_ _._ _What could they have come up with anyway! If I just look around this corner, I will find my bag and my belongings. Wait if they have the phone safe, I can still find its location by calling it. Then what the hell am I waiting for? Move squishy paw_ _s_ _. Look for a substitute cloth and get the hell out of here!_


End file.
